So let's be honest here... I'm really into music. Music of all kinds and all genres. Well all excluding that god awful sound that comes from the streets of Nashville, TN. Someone should have built a great big wall around that city to keep that "nails on a chalkboard" sound in. How can anyone really like country? Please someone answer it, anyone.
Well enough pissing about country that's not the reason behind this posting. The last month or more I've fallen in love with a genre of music to a degree that I never thought I could fall to. My one true love definitely falls with hip hop, and I'm not talking about the crap rap you here on your Power 98's, 106.5 The Beat's, 95 JamZ's, and your "Repeater 101.5" which I'm sure can be found in every FM signals reach. This radio stations absolutely bore me. It's almost like they pick 5 or 10 songs if that for the month and play them over and over and over and over and over and over and over... You get the point. My true hip hop love falls deep beneath the ground, seems why they call it underground... Some of it spills over on to Main Street but not to the level where you can hear it five times in an hour on the radio or on the radio at all. This isn't about hip hop so I need to move on. Just know that I'm trying to express this new love is a big thing for me to compare it to my love of hip hop.
The last month I've been engulfed with this genre. So much I created a new genre on my iPod for them all. I still haven't hammered down one name; I'm stuck between "awesome, fantastic, super, elegant, moving, etc...” you get the point. I'm not really making a new genre but I'm hooked.
I'm so hooked I've been buying all their CDs. That doesn't happen much anymore these days. I feel this strong will within to support their music because the ways these “Good Vibrations” reverberate off my ossicles. I couldn't bare the thought that one of them might quit doing what they're doing and go back to their day job.
This new love is for the female voice! Don't get me wrong nothing is ever better than a sexy female voice, but I've never been into like this before. I'm not talking about Brittany Spears and Christina Aguilera either!
Just to list a few of my new loves are:
Duffy
Amy Winehouse
Missy Higgins
Emily King
Sara Bareilles
Colbie Caillat
Tristan Prettyman
Adele
Clare Fader
Erin McKeown
Emiliana Torrini
There is a couple of handful of others too but these are just a few off the top of my head while I'm typing this. To these beautiful voices I bow my head in awe! I'm hooked! I'm serious, this doesn't happen. I haven't listened to hip hop in weeks because of these ladies. To some of you these ladies maybe nothing new but to those of you who haven't heard of them you're missing out. Duffy is my favorite of them all. I’m totally in love with her voice and her whole style. Her song “Stepping Stones” is amazing as well as “Warwick Avenue” and a list of other I’ll let you find yourself.
So my thoughts on all this are never leave a stone unturned because you never know what new love may be lying beneath. I'm so glad I didn't skip over Duffy... I owe my whole new passion to her song “Stepping Stones”
As always
P-Helps
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
TRAPPED IN A MAZE, THEREFORE I AM AMAZING
The tittle says it the best... Oh how nice it is to be amazing! I promised y'all something amazing so here I am... I'm here to show up.
I'd first off like to thank the things that make me amazing... What is it that makes me amazing? Well besides the never ending supply of smiles, jokes, laughs and happiness. Let's just say it's the prodigious characteristics that best describe me.
Ok in all seriousness... My head's not really that big, it's bigger than you could even imagine. Now that I got this nonsense out of the way what truly makes me amazing would have to be best said as the amazing people that are in my life. If it isn't my beautiful mother, my amazing twin sister, my most adorable nieces, the crazy ex girlfriends that always find their way back into my life, or one of the many people or things I've forgotten to list here, let me be first to apologize for my inconsiderateness.
So what's the real big idea behind all of this? Life. Life is the big deal behind this. The last three months have been the most sobering months, literally... Quick somebody get me a drink so I can finish this. On second though better make it an apple juice. That's it! I think next time I'm at the bar I'm going to give my swaggering grin that you all know to well at the bar tender; male or female, and say "Hey, let me get an apple juice..." Better yet maybe I should slyly slip the bartender a five and whisper "I like my juice on the rocks." I'm sure I'd be pussyfooting around the bar all night after that.
So back to this so called "LIFE" we're talking about. Being the beginning of a new year, which I've coined the phrase "Divine in 09" lame yes I know but nothing is as "Great as 08" so it'll just have to do for now until something more crafty comes along.
As a new year reins in, one is brought to acknowledge the past 365 days and ask what the F%*^ did I accomplish. I'm not going to sit hear in throw up into your laps the things I accomplished this last year I'm just brought to the sobering thoughts of what I didn't accomplish. Does that ever happen to you when you set a lot of goals and then you do nothing to achieve them. I'm reading a book (bite me yes I'm reading a book) that talks about not only setting goals but yet how to achieve your goals one day at a time. So one day after reading I let my fingers and google go on a date and looked into goals and achieving goals and all sorts of things and found a quote that I liked;
*Nothing happens unless first we dream.*
Ok I'll have to admit I dreamed about you last night just don't tell your husbands if you're married. It'll keep this fictional relationship a little more alive inside this make believe world. Ah yes, to my mysterious Abby, I also dreamed of you last night. No tail goes untold for we all shall meet one day, for the warm sunny air you breath in PHX, I too as well breath that air in New Bern. Except mine kind of smells like the ocean. Maybe we should be friends on the "book of faces", maybe it's too soon for that.
So how do we live our lives to the fullest degree each day. How about we wake up for starters. Not just wake up, but when I wake up each morning breathing I think "hell yeah, I at least got one more day." So as I referred to setting goals and achieving them I ask, have you made any goals for this year. When you make your goals for this year actually make them. Don't just say this is what I'm going to do... Then sit with one thumb in your mouth and the other in your... Ask yourself how the hell am I going to do this? I did that this year and it sparked this life opening epiphany where it's almost like I could see into the future and see what I should do with my life and how I should do it. Now I need to just execute all these things and I should be alright.
So to those of you who read this I wish I could see your smiling faces once more... It's been to long, and the memory of your beautiful faces are beginning to smear as the watercolors on a canvas... Maybe I'll hop on a jet and see you tomorrow. Look out for me, I'll be standing on the corner holding a sign that reads "SUCCESSFUL MAN LOOKING FOR THE LACKING COMPANIONSHIP OF OTHERS" or maybe that would be to much, how about something like "SOMEBODY GIVE THIS DOG A BONE" Who knows maybe I'll live it all to surprise.
As always... This heart to your heart!
Adam
I'd first off like to thank the things that make me amazing... What is it that makes me amazing? Well besides the never ending supply of smiles, jokes, laughs and happiness. Let's just say it's the prodigious characteristics that best describe me.
Ok in all seriousness... My head's not really that big, it's bigger than you could even imagine. Now that I got this nonsense out of the way what truly makes me amazing would have to be best said as the amazing people that are in my life. If it isn't my beautiful mother, my amazing twin sister, my most adorable nieces, the crazy ex girlfriends that always find their way back into my life, or one of the many people or things I've forgotten to list here, let me be first to apologize for my inconsiderateness.
So what's the real big idea behind all of this? Life. Life is the big deal behind this. The last three months have been the most sobering months, literally... Quick somebody get me a drink so I can finish this. On second though better make it an apple juice. That's it! I think next time I'm at the bar I'm going to give my swaggering grin that you all know to well at the bar tender; male or female, and say "Hey, let me get an apple juice..." Better yet maybe I should slyly slip the bartender a five and whisper "I like my juice on the rocks." I'm sure I'd be pussyfooting around the bar all night after that.
So back to this so called "LIFE" we're talking about. Being the beginning of a new year, which I've coined the phrase "Divine in 09" lame yes I know but nothing is as "Great as 08" so it'll just have to do for now until something more crafty comes along.
As a new year reins in, one is brought to acknowledge the past 365 days and ask what the F%*^ did I accomplish. I'm not going to sit hear in throw up into your laps the things I accomplished this last year I'm just brought to the sobering thoughts of what I didn't accomplish. Does that ever happen to you when you set a lot of goals and then you do nothing to achieve them. I'm reading a book (bite me yes I'm reading a book) that talks about not only setting goals but yet how to achieve your goals one day at a time. So one day after reading I let my fingers and google go on a date and looked into goals and achieving goals and all sorts of things and found a quote that I liked;
*Nothing happens unless first we dream.*
Ok I'll have to admit I dreamed about you last night just don't tell your husbands if you're married. It'll keep this fictional relationship a little more alive inside this make believe world. Ah yes, to my mysterious Abby, I also dreamed of you last night. No tail goes untold for we all shall meet one day, for the warm sunny air you breath in PHX, I too as well breath that air in New Bern. Except mine kind of smells like the ocean. Maybe we should be friends on the "book of faces", maybe it's too soon for that.
So how do we live our lives to the fullest degree each day. How about we wake up for starters. Not just wake up, but when I wake up each morning breathing I think "hell yeah, I at least got one more day." So as I referred to setting goals and achieving them I ask, have you made any goals for this year. When you make your goals for this year actually make them. Don't just say this is what I'm going to do... Then sit with one thumb in your mouth and the other in your... Ask yourself how the hell am I going to do this? I did that this year and it sparked this life opening epiphany where it's almost like I could see into the future and see what I should do with my life and how I should do it. Now I need to just execute all these things and I should be alright.
So to those of you who read this I wish I could see your smiling faces once more... It's been to long, and the memory of your beautiful faces are beginning to smear as the watercolors on a canvas... Maybe I'll hop on a jet and see you tomorrow. Look out for me, I'll be standing on the corner holding a sign that reads "SUCCESSFUL MAN LOOKING FOR THE LACKING COMPANIONSHIP OF OTHERS" or maybe that would be to much, how about something like "SOMEBODY GIVE THIS DOG A BONE" Who knows maybe I'll live it all to surprise.
As always... This heart to your heart!
Adam
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
I SWEAR I SWEAR THERE'S SOMETHING GOOD INSIGHT FOR TOMORROW
WHY TO THIS I WRITE TO MY DEAREST FRIENDS... HOW BLESSED THE DAY! THIS HERE IS MERELY A PRECURSOR TO SOMETHING GREAT. I HAVE SOME MIGHT EXCITING THINGS TO TALK ABOUT BUT I'M GOING TO WAIT TILL TOMORROW TO POST THEM. I JUST WANTED A FEW OTHER PEOPLE TO BE AS EXCITED AS I AM FOR THIS POST...
SO TO THIS I SAY ME DEAR FRIENDS, "HOLD ON, PULL UP YOUR PANTS, AND TIE YOUR SHOES BECAUSE TOMORROW I'M GOING TO BLOW YOUR SOCKS OFF..." WELL AT LEAST I HOPE. NOW I FEEL THIS EMINENCE AMOUNT OF PRESSURE TO SHOW UP AND TO PREFORM! TO THIS I TAKE A KNEE, PLACE MY HAT OVER MY HEART, AND LOOK UP TO THE SKY AS IF I WAS A PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE AND SAY THANK YOU AND KISS MY INDEX AND MIDDLE FINGER IN SOME KIND OF GESTURE AS IF IT'S A THANKS TO GOD...
ADAM
PS... I FOUND THIS PICTURE UNDER EXCITED!!! YOU SHOULD BE LIKE THESE GUYS!!
SO TO THIS I SAY ME DEAR FRIENDS, "HOLD ON, PULL UP YOUR PANTS, AND TIE YOUR SHOES BECAUSE TOMORROW I'M GOING TO BLOW YOUR SOCKS OFF..." WELL AT LEAST I HOPE. NOW I FEEL THIS EMINENCE AMOUNT OF PRESSURE TO SHOW UP AND TO PREFORM! TO THIS I TAKE A KNEE, PLACE MY HAT OVER MY HEART, AND LOOK UP TO THE SKY AS IF I WAS A PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE AND SAY THANK YOU AND KISS MY INDEX AND MIDDLE FINGER IN SOME KIND OF GESTURE AS IF IT'S A THANKS TO GOD...
ADAM
PS... I FOUND THIS PICTURE UNDER EXCITED!!! YOU SHOULD BE LIKE THESE GUYS!!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
THE SEXY GIRL WHO DOESN'T TALK BACK
Recently I've fallen in love with a girl who I guess we could say never talks back. She does what I ask unceasingly with no hesitation. Well sometimes she hesitates but really it's no more than a few short seconds. I've only gotten mad at her once which seems like the perfect relationship. She's vibrant and full of color. She never responds when I tell her I love her which leads me to believe she's afraid of commitment. I can understand we've only been together for a couple weeks now, and I could be taking it kind of fast but truthfully I never want to be without her again. When she talks to me I feel this level of comfort I've never felt before... It's like we were meant to be together. I don't know what was taking me so long to commit for but I'm so glad I did.
To this post I write to the girl that never talks back. She guides me to where I need to go and she takes me all the places I want to go. Without her I'd be lost and for this I say... GARMIN, I LOVE YOU!!!
Adam
To this post I write to the girl that never talks back. She guides me to where I need to go and she takes me all the places I want to go. Without her I'd be lost and for this I say... GARMIN, I LOVE YOU!!!
Adam
Thursday, December 11, 2008
MY LONG LOST POST...
The last few weeks have been crazy to say the least. Between Thanksgiving, finishing up working in Raleigh, moving to New Bern, NC, and the man sitting beside me asking how to spell "security" who’s browsing the "onlinebootycall" website I don't know where to start.
How about I work in reverse... I feel privileged to be a grown man and not have to sound out my words still... Unless I'm spelling words like Methionylthreonylthreonylglutaminylala... which I'm pretty sure those PHD holders throw darts at a board when coming up with a name for chemicals. What I'm getting at is how privileged I am to have an education. I see many around me who aren't afforded the same opportunities and I see where it really is a great blessing. A blessing to know how to spell, punctuate sentences, read, write, use proper grammar, think correctly and who knows what else. As I sit here and listen to this man sound out words that I'm pretty sure my nine year old niece can spell I can only feel blessed.
Among something else that I feel blessed for at this time is the blessing of employment. How grateful it is to have job and not just a job but a good job in this time of turmoil. Many of those around us aren't as fortunate as us to be blessed with employment. Earlier today I overheard a conversation of a couple saying they only had $18.12 left. Wow, holy hell I don't know what I would do if I looked at my account and that's all I had left. I mean I've definitely been there before when you look at the account and you're like "whoa that's all I got left", but that was in times of college and that never really happened.
Well time to move on since he's gone from onlinebootycall.com to now onlineaffairs.com! I hope for his sake he does get laid whether it's online, in person or with just himself. HAHAHA I'm sorry that was bad but I can't help it, the man is talking out loud about where he's at and what he's looking at. The poor mans' biggest struggle in life is trying to figure out the perfect nickname for the affair website. I wish that was my biggest struggle! I was going to help him and give him a name to use but it's pretty humoring to listen to all the names he's trying to come up with that aren't working for him. I'm doing some serious "LOLing" in this little booth. He just sounded out the next site he's at... "www.bigbitches.com" I don't recommend you going there and surfing the site. I just asked him if he needed some help to see what exciting might happen and I got to type while he dictated the "a little about me" part of his profile. I wouldn't dare write on my blog what I typed for him. Well I'm really going to move on I could write this entire blog about this guy.
Well my life has been quite interesting to say the least. I've been living in Raleigh, NC since July, until the beginning of December, and now that I have finished covering for Rachel, who was on maternity leave I am now out in my territory on New Bern, NC. I just moved here last weekend and all I have to say as I am so in love with New Bern. I'm pretty sure I just found my resting place. This town reminds me of Logan, UT just without all the Mormons and a lot more black people... And the fact that it's on the Pamlico Sound which just so happens connects to the Atlantic Ocean. It's nice being on the coast of North Carolina and being only 40 mins from some of the best beaches this country has to offer.
After moving to New Bern, to find out from the roommate that the landlord was selling the house and I no longer had a place to live, needless to say I was a little pissed, maybe almost worried. Though put your trust and faith and Him who is above and things will work out as they should. I luckily found a place in downtown New Bern, which is where I initially wanted to be since it's the Historic District with all the old houses and downtown life. Let's just say this... It's the Shiznito! It works out perfectly too. My roommate who happens to be in his 50's is actually married and lives in Wilmington, NC which is south coast and he's only here Monday night through Thursday night for work and then he's gone home for the weekend. You can find me on Google Earth Here. Don't be jealous even though I can sense it, there's a little bit of jealousy in your reading... I'm pretty sure I'm in love with where I'm at. Now the goal is to just work hard and keep my job forever I suppose. People have told me they get burnt out and tired of what we do. I just chuckle and say well consider me one of the few that plans to stay here and do what I do for what I make.
As I awoke to my alarm clock and then sat in be reading for awhile before I decided to get up and get ready for the day. I was reading the account of Alma and Amulek, and there account of calling upon the people of Ammonihah. What great faith they had! To stand strong as the priest and lawyers tried to contend with them and catch them in their words so they could kill them. Think of how strong their faith was in the power of God. I was pondering while reading and asked myself... "How strong is my faith in the power of God?" "Do I put all trust in the God?" "Am I one to always stand for what I believe in with nothing wavering?" These are the questions that I thought about as I drove around today for work and thought back to the last few years and how I lacked in the areas I questioned, but how I've worked diligently the last while to exemplify those things. I think it brings great comfort to the soul to know that one is on the right path and doing what's important not only to them but to the man upstairs. You can't make up for the time that you've lost in your past but you can work hard and diligently throughout the rest of your life and do what you know you should be doing. I can't help but to be thankful for the blessings I've been given in my life. I need to do what is important now to show thanks and gratitude for that in which I've been given. I extend that challenge to you to everyday wake up and throughout your day do what is important to show you're thankful for what you've been given.
With these words I leave you:
May the roads rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rain fall soft upon your fields
And, until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.
Yours always and truly
Adam
How about I work in reverse... I feel privileged to be a grown man and not have to sound out my words still... Unless I'm spelling words like Methionylthreonylthreonylglutaminylala... which I'm pretty sure those PHD holders throw darts at a board when coming up with a name for chemicals. What I'm getting at is how privileged I am to have an education. I see many around me who aren't afforded the same opportunities and I see where it really is a great blessing. A blessing to know how to spell, punctuate sentences, read, write, use proper grammar, think correctly and who knows what else. As I sit here and listen to this man sound out words that I'm pretty sure my nine year old niece can spell I can only feel blessed.
Among something else that I feel blessed for at this time is the blessing of employment. How grateful it is to have job and not just a job but a good job in this time of turmoil. Many of those around us aren't as fortunate as us to be blessed with employment. Earlier today I overheard a conversation of a couple saying they only had $18.12 left. Wow, holy hell I don't know what I would do if I looked at my account and that's all I had left. I mean I've definitely been there before when you look at the account and you're like "whoa that's all I got left", but that was in times of college and that never really happened.
Well time to move on since he's gone from onlinebootycall.com to now onlineaffairs.com! I hope for his sake he does get laid whether it's online, in person or with just himself. HAHAHA I'm sorry that was bad but I can't help it, the man is talking out loud about where he's at and what he's looking at. The poor mans' biggest struggle in life is trying to figure out the perfect nickname for the affair website. I wish that was my biggest struggle! I was going to help him and give him a name to use but it's pretty humoring to listen to all the names he's trying to come up with that aren't working for him. I'm doing some serious "LOLing" in this little booth. He just sounded out the next site he's at... "www.bigbitches.com" I don't recommend you going there and surfing the site. I just asked him if he needed some help to see what exciting might happen and I got to type while he dictated the "a little about me" part of his profile. I wouldn't dare write on my blog what I typed for him. Well I'm really going to move on I could write this entire blog about this guy.
Well my life has been quite interesting to say the least. I've been living in Raleigh, NC since July, until the beginning of December, and now that I have finished covering for Rachel, who was on maternity leave I am now out in my territory on New Bern, NC. I just moved here last weekend and all I have to say as I am so in love with New Bern. I'm pretty sure I just found my resting place. This town reminds me of Logan, UT just without all the Mormons and a lot more black people... And the fact that it's on the Pamlico Sound which just so happens connects to the Atlantic Ocean. It's nice being on the coast of North Carolina and being only 40 mins from some of the best beaches this country has to offer.
After moving to New Bern, to find out from the roommate that the landlord was selling the house and I no longer had a place to live, needless to say I was a little pissed, maybe almost worried. Though put your trust and faith and Him who is above and things will work out as they should. I luckily found a place in downtown New Bern, which is where I initially wanted to be since it's the Historic District with all the old houses and downtown life. Let's just say this... It's the Shiznito! It works out perfectly too. My roommate who happens to be in his 50's is actually married and lives in Wilmington, NC which is south coast and he's only here Monday night through Thursday night for work and then he's gone home for the weekend. You can find me on Google Earth Here. Don't be jealous even though I can sense it, there's a little bit of jealousy in your reading... I'm pretty sure I'm in love with where I'm at. Now the goal is to just work hard and keep my job forever I suppose. People have told me they get burnt out and tired of what we do. I just chuckle and say well consider me one of the few that plans to stay here and do what I do for what I make.
As I awoke to my alarm clock and then sat in be reading for awhile before I decided to get up and get ready for the day. I was reading the account of Alma and Amulek, and there account of calling upon the people of Ammonihah. What great faith they had! To stand strong as the priest and lawyers tried to contend with them and catch them in their words so they could kill them. Think of how strong their faith was in the power of God. I was pondering while reading and asked myself... "How strong is my faith in the power of God?" "Do I put all trust in the God?" "Am I one to always stand for what I believe in with nothing wavering?" These are the questions that I thought about as I drove around today for work and thought back to the last few years and how I lacked in the areas I questioned, but how I've worked diligently the last while to exemplify those things. I think it brings great comfort to the soul to know that one is on the right path and doing what's important not only to them but to the man upstairs. You can't make up for the time that you've lost in your past but you can work hard and diligently throughout the rest of your life and do what you know you should be doing. I can't help but to be thankful for the blessings I've been given in my life. I need to do what is important now to show thanks and gratitude for that in which I've been given. I extend that challenge to you to everyday wake up and throughout your day do what is important to show you're thankful for what you've been given.
With these words I leave you:
May the roads rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rain fall soft upon your fields
And, until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.
Yours always and truly
Adam
Monday, November 17, 2008
TO WHOM THIS MAY CONCERN
To this I write to those in whom it may concern. To you I write with feelings of love and compassion and with feelings of gratitude.
I want to share with you my love and share it with you endlessly. I want you to understand that I reach out to you with the deepest fiber of my soul to tell you that I love you, and that "To Love is to be Free, To be Free is to Listen, and to Listen is the greatest way to say I love you." -Phelps
When one truly finds themselves they must ask where, how and in which way they did. One must search deep to find out the meaning of these things because this will help one to find out what one truly wants in life. You must ask yourself "what do I want in life?" Do you see the glass half full or do you see the glass half full...
Why would someone ever want to see the glass as half empty. Life is full of so many opportunities and maybe at times it seems like things might not be the best or that things will never go your way, but you must realize that everything happens for a reason... A good friend of mine and I have a saying, "coincidence, I think not." I think life is full of many decisions and it's up to us to choose which path we take. We're here for a reason and although at times it may seem difficult, that's when we need to dig out heels in and hold on.
I have been asking myself a lot lately "what do I want in life?" Over the last six months I've come to know myself again. The person I was four years ago. Somebody that knew what they wanted and had goals to achieve it, but when things didn't quite work out like I thought they should I panicked and ran from what I wanted. I've spent the last three years of my life running from who I wanted to be. I suppose the thought of what I wanted to be and could be was to great for me to handle at that point in my life and instead of embracing it and cultivating it, I did what any insecure person would do and ran from what I truly wanted.
In the words of a good man, no the words of a great man... "Oh God, look out into the beauties of nature and comfort your heart with that which must be - Love demands everything and that very justly - thus it is to me with you, and to your with me. But you forget so easily that I must live for me and for you; if we were wholly united you would feel the pain of it as little as I - My journey was a fearful one; I did not reach here until 4 o'clock yesterday morning. Lacking horses the post-coach chose another route, but what an awful one; at the stage before the last I was warned not to travel at night; I was made fearful of a forest, but that only made me the more eager - and I was wrong. The coach must needs break down on the wretched road, a bottomless mud road. Without such postilions as I had with me I should have remained stuck in the road. Esterhazy, traveling the usual road here, had the same fate with eight horses that I had with four - Yet I got some pleasure out of it, as I always do when I successfully overcome difficulties - Now a quick change to things internal from things external. We shall surely see each other soon; moreover, today I cannot share with you the thoughts I have had during these last few days touching my own life" -Beethoven
Yes this is a love letter from a great man to his dearly beloved who he is away from but when I read it I found the meaning and the symbolization of my life within his words. From my journey was fearful, to arriving at 4 o'clock (maybe Beethoven's and My 4 o'clock are different things) I still have arrived at something that I am striving for. I with my carriage have chosen another path through the darkness of night and I can tell you that it is truly a dark path in the woods with no light for direction. As he so elegantly says "The coach must needs break down on the wretched road, a bottomless mud road. Without such postilions as I had with me I should have remained stuck in the road. Esterhazy, traveling the usual road here, had the same fate with eight horses that I had with four - Yet I got some pleasure out of it, as I always do when I successfully overcome difficulties." Yes there were pleasures along the road, but as he says "a bottomless mud road" which it truly is.
What I say to you at this time is I am indeed grateful for you. I'm thankful that you read this. If not these words just go unread but if they do go unread it would only be a loss to the reader. I truly gain so much from writing these thoughts down and I hope you receive the same joys and blessings from these words as I do. At this time I leave you with these words "Cheer up - remain my true, my only treasure, my all as I am yours. The gods must send us the rest, what for us must and shall be"
Your Faithful
Adam
I want to share with you my love and share it with you endlessly. I want you to understand that I reach out to you with the deepest fiber of my soul to tell you that I love you, and that "To Love is to be Free, To be Free is to Listen, and to Listen is the greatest way to say I love you." -Phelps
When one truly finds themselves they must ask where, how and in which way they did. One must search deep to find out the meaning of these things because this will help one to find out what one truly wants in life. You must ask yourself "what do I want in life?" Do you see the glass half full or do you see the glass half full...
Why would someone ever want to see the glass as half empty. Life is full of so many opportunities and maybe at times it seems like things might not be the best or that things will never go your way, but you must realize that everything happens for a reason... A good friend of mine and I have a saying, "coincidence, I think not." I think life is full of many decisions and it's up to us to choose which path we take. We're here for a reason and although at times it may seem difficult, that's when we need to dig out heels in and hold on.
I have been asking myself a lot lately "what do I want in life?" Over the last six months I've come to know myself again. The person I was four years ago. Somebody that knew what they wanted and had goals to achieve it, but when things didn't quite work out like I thought they should I panicked and ran from what I wanted. I've spent the last three years of my life running from who I wanted to be. I suppose the thought of what I wanted to be and could be was to great for me to handle at that point in my life and instead of embracing it and cultivating it, I did what any insecure person would do and ran from what I truly wanted.
In the words of a good man, no the words of a great man... "Oh God, look out into the beauties of nature and comfort your heart with that which must be - Love demands everything and that very justly - thus it is to me with you, and to your with me. But you forget so easily that I must live for me and for you; if we were wholly united you would feel the pain of it as little as I - My journey was a fearful one; I did not reach here until 4 o'clock yesterday morning. Lacking horses the post-coach chose another route, but what an awful one; at the stage before the last I was warned not to travel at night; I was made fearful of a forest, but that only made me the more eager - and I was wrong. The coach must needs break down on the wretched road, a bottomless mud road. Without such postilions as I had with me I should have remained stuck in the road. Esterhazy, traveling the usual road here, had the same fate with eight horses that I had with four - Yet I got some pleasure out of it, as I always do when I successfully overcome difficulties - Now a quick change to things internal from things external. We shall surely see each other soon; moreover, today I cannot share with you the thoughts I have had during these last few days touching my own life" -Beethoven
Yes this is a love letter from a great man to his dearly beloved who he is away from but when I read it I found the meaning and the symbolization of my life within his words. From my journey was fearful, to arriving at 4 o'clock (maybe Beethoven's and My 4 o'clock are different things) I still have arrived at something that I am striving for. I with my carriage have chosen another path through the darkness of night and I can tell you that it is truly a dark path in the woods with no light for direction. As he so elegantly says "The coach must needs break down on the wretched road, a bottomless mud road. Without such postilions as I had with me I should have remained stuck in the road. Esterhazy, traveling the usual road here, had the same fate with eight horses that I had with four - Yet I got some pleasure out of it, as I always do when I successfully overcome difficulties." Yes there were pleasures along the road, but as he says "a bottomless mud road" which it truly is.
What I say to you at this time is I am indeed grateful for you. I'm thankful that you read this. If not these words just go unread but if they do go unread it would only be a loss to the reader. I truly gain so much from writing these thoughts down and I hope you receive the same joys and blessings from these words as I do. At this time I leave you with these words "Cheer up - remain my true, my only treasure, my all as I am yours. The gods must send us the rest, what for us must and shall be"
Your Faithful
Adam
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS...
Duhhh, When life gives you lemons, you paint that shit gold!
Well for the last few weeks I've pondered a lot of things. I've pondered things about me, I've pondered things about other people, and I've even pondered things about things that aren't about anything.
So what am I pondering today? I think today I marvel at the simple beauties in life. I do apologize that I have left my blog postless for sometime now. I've actually written several blogs since the last but when I'm done if I didn't fall asleep while writing it I ended up deleting it in the morning because I didn't feel like posting it because the moment had past and my feelings had changed.
Isn't it quite dumbfounding how thoughts change your words, your feelings, your actions, or even others feelings and actions. I have this very dear friend who is my bestest bestest friend in the whole wide world. I could say a million things about her, because simple for a lack of better words "she's supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" or one could say docious ali exp listic fragi cali super...
Really this friend means the world to me and if you watched the entire video that the link took you to you would wish you had a friend like this. This is the friend that I wrote about back in October because this friend is quite amazing.
Well moving on to something that's been on my mind a lot is forgiveness. The power of forgiveness is a very strong and soul wrenching feeling. Forgiveness is said to be "the process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger for a perceived offense, difference or mistake, and ceasing to demand punishment or restitution." I've been struggling for the last few weeks about forgiving myself really. I've made some stupid decisions in my life and although I never regret a decision or choice I've made because great meaning and enlightenment has come from those decisions whether they were good or bad. I just wish that I could have learned those lessons from making wise decisions. It's said that smart people learn from their mistakes, but a wise man learns from others mistakes."
All decisions have consequences and what we do and learn from those consequences is what defines our character. By forgiving ourselves; although, it may seem hard and unattainable at times it is possible. You have to break yourself from those thoughts of imperfections and the thoughts that there's no chance for you. I've learned not to beat yourself up over things. Yes that is the part of the process of forgiving yourself but after so much you have to put it in the past in move on from it so that burden can be lifted. Tupac said it best himself when he said "You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks or even months over-analyzing a situations; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the F* on."
So I bid you "la paz a su alma" until the next time we meet; whether it be here or there, in this life or after, if you are reading this I love you. I can say that with true conviction because I'm pretty sure I know who reads these and I express my love and gratitude to you. I thank each of you for the examples that you set whether that example be tangible or intangible. Just know you are an example when you least expect it.
Well for the last few weeks I've pondered a lot of things. I've pondered things about me, I've pondered things about other people, and I've even pondered things about things that aren't about anything.
So what am I pondering today? I think today I marvel at the simple beauties in life. I do apologize that I have left my blog postless for sometime now. I've actually written several blogs since the last but when I'm done if I didn't fall asleep while writing it I ended up deleting it in the morning because I didn't feel like posting it because the moment had past and my feelings had changed.
Isn't it quite dumbfounding how thoughts change your words, your feelings, your actions, or even others feelings and actions. I have this very dear friend who is my bestest bestest friend in the whole wide world. I could say a million things about her, because simple for a lack of better words "she's supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" or one could say docious ali exp listic fragi cali super...
Really this friend means the world to me and if you watched the entire video that the link took you to you would wish you had a friend like this. This is the friend that I wrote about back in October because this friend is quite amazing.
Well moving on to something that's been on my mind a lot is forgiveness. The power of forgiveness is a very strong and soul wrenching feeling. Forgiveness is said to be "the process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger for a perceived offense, difference or mistake, and ceasing to demand punishment or restitution." I've been struggling for the last few weeks about forgiving myself really. I've made some stupid decisions in my life and although I never regret a decision or choice I've made because great meaning and enlightenment has come from those decisions whether they were good or bad. I just wish that I could have learned those lessons from making wise decisions. It's said that smart people learn from their mistakes, but a wise man learns from others mistakes."
All decisions have consequences and what we do and learn from those consequences is what defines our character. By forgiving ourselves; although, it may seem hard and unattainable at times it is possible. You have to break yourself from those thoughts of imperfections and the thoughts that there's no chance for you. I've learned not to beat yourself up over things. Yes that is the part of the process of forgiving yourself but after so much you have to put it in the past in move on from it so that burden can be lifted. Tupac said it best himself when he said "You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks or even months over-analyzing a situations; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the F* on."
So I bid you "la paz a su alma" until the next time we meet; whether it be here or there, in this life or after, if you are reading this I love you. I can say that with true conviction because I'm pretty sure I know who reads these and I express my love and gratitude to you. I thank each of you for the examples that you set whether that example be tangible or intangible. Just know you are an example when you least expect it.
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